THIS THING CALLED LOVE HAS NO MANUAL

I wish LOVE was as easy as going to the supermarket and purchase an item written directions for use…or store in a cool dry place…or if it comes to contact with your eyes rinse with plenty of water and if symptoms persist seek medical advice. But then again these directions differ from product to product. Like for example you will find serve when hot in a packet of ugali and best served when chilled on a coca-cola bottle. In short this should tell you how you love differs from any other persons’. Their is no specific way as to how one should love. Well i know you’ve come across those weird guidelines if your partner is not treating you like this run…if he’s not taking you out run for your life…the common one being  if you’re always the first to text and call he/she is not interested.

Sometimes you meet someone you become close. You develop feeling towards them then FRIEND ZONE happens. Then they start dating and tell you about it and you’re just there torn in between being happy for them or not. But after a while you just shrug it off and life goes on. But now there is this other type you meet and they sweep you off your feet. They bring some type of excitement that was never there. They ask you for your number and the first time you text you realize they have a problem…they’re always blue ticking you(opening text and not replying) they like literally ‘ignore’ you. You then decide to talk to them about it and they say they’re poor in texting it is just not their thing. You tell your friends about it and you get different responses he’s just pretending….he doesn’t want to talk to you….some things were not meant to happen…men are all the same…you’ll find a good guy..everyone with their different story. Your friends will tell you how to run your relationship but only you know how he/she makes you feel.

Main confusion when it comes to such is whether to walk away or try harder.Personally i’m never afraid of waiting.. my greatest fear is waiting for something that will never happen. But then again i strongly feel a part of me will always be waiting for you.

 

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NEW YEAR NEW ‘RESOLUTIONS’

Doesn’t the word ‘resolutions’ just sound like a huge object that can fall on you and hurt you big time? I don’t know.

these resolutions are different from the daily ones where you vow you will NEVER text your crush again but then you just find yourself texting them. Actually you double the texts.

I will tell you why i can never make resolutions. look for instance a student resolving to work harder in school. Hello..that is what you are supposed to do. A couple resolving to love each other more. Aren’t you supposed to like love each other?? that’s what couples do and that is why you are not business partners. someone resolving to be attending lectures. i mean this is why you came to school basically. i will save money is another common one. you don’t know you’re supposed to save for a rainy day?? 

I just think that these resolutions are a little bit overrated . they have been given a larger image than life. i think it is always a polite way of reminding us that we got our priorities all wrong. don’t make a long list of reSolutions.. just do what you got to do. don’t label it as things i will do before this year end.. instead just write things i got to do every day

I only have one resolution for this year  NOT TO HAVE ANY RESOLUTIONS

I’M READY TO MOVE ON BUT FORGETTING ABOUT YOU IS A HARDER FIGHT

Before anything let me say that I hate you cupid…you and your arrows!!!!
Life sometimes throws at you things you were not ready to catch. Positions you don’t want to be (smh).
Sometimes we love people too deep till it hurts. We spend time with them get close like very close. We are so into them untill nothing else makes sense. Everytime you want to text someone you think of them first. You wait for the brightest star and you make a wish that those moments lasts forever.
You love them but you keep quiet about it simply because pinterest told you ‘never rush things that need time to grow’ so you just chill.
Day by day feelings growing stronger bonds tightening and you just don’t want a day to pass without seeing them.
Then life happens once more and they fall in love too…but not with you this time.their fairy tale begins. You know the i-love-you-you-love-someone-else cycle right??
You say you’re ok with everything and you’re happy for them. But deep down you’re hurting. It’s paining you every single minute. You want to forget everything…most importantly you want to strangle cupid for wasting another arrow.
You say you’ll be ok even though you know you won’t. You just lie about everything. You don’t even have the strength to face them you might breakdown anytime. You say you won’t text them again but you still do not because you’re happy for them but because they still mean the universe to you. A fact even the fastest athlete can’t run away from. Then the funny bit is just how they’re clueless that they  hurt you. Things never turn out the way we want them to but it doesn’t change the fact that life must go on. Yes I’m so ready to move on but forgetting how someone makes you feel is the harder fight.
Dear cupid,
NEVER shoot me again…why don’t you use those arrows to kill those wild animals escaping the game parks and disturbing people.

Dear Santa,
This Christmas I just wish to wake up with amnesia…that’s the greatest gift
Ooh and cupid you can as well use those arrows to shoot those goons involved in corruption and save crime

I

Before anything let me say that I hate you cupid…you and your arrows!!!!
Life sometimes throws at you things you were not ready to catch. Positions you don’t want to be (smh).
Sometimes we love people too deep till it hurts. We spend time with them get close like very close. We are so into them untill nothing else makes sense. Everytime you want to text someone you think of them first. You wait for the brightest star and you make a wish that those moments lasts forever.
You love them but you keep quiet about it simply because pinterest told you ‘never rush things that need time to grow’ so you just chill.
Day by day feelings growing stronger bonds tightening and you just don’t want a day to pass without seeing them.
Then life happens once more and they fall in love too…but not with you this time.their fairy tale begins. You know the i-love-you-you-love-someone-else cycle right??
You say you’re ok with everything and you’re happy for them. But deep down you’re hurting. It’s paining you every single minute. You want to forget everything…most importantly you want to strangle cupid for wasting another arrow.
You say you’ll be ok even though you know you won’t. You just lie about everything. You don’t even have the strength to face them you might breakdown anytime. You say you won’t text them again but you still do not because you’re happy for them but because they still mean the universe to you. A fact even the fastest athlete can’t run away from. Then the funny bit is just how they’re clueless that they  hurt you. Things never turn out the way we want them to but it doesn’t change the fact that life must go on. Yes I’m so ready to move on but forgetting how someone makes you feel is the harder fight.
Dear cupid,
NEVER shoot me again…why don’t you use those arrows to kill those wild animals escaping the game parks and disturbing people.

Dear Santa,
This Christmas I just wish to wake up with amnesia…that’s the greatest gift

DEAR PARENTS: RELAX CAMPUS IS ALREADY TEACHING YOUR DAUGHTERS.

I wrote daughter because i am my parents’ daughter and i don’t know what campus is teaching your sons.

DEAR PARENTS;

Lets  walk down the memory lane together. Do you remember how you killed your daughters’ innocence? I’ll tell you how. When she was young playing with boys was just a normal thing. Very normal. No one saw the bad side of it. Not even you. So what happened when your daughter reached puberty and you told her “don’t ‘PLAY’ with boys they are dangerous” (whatever that was supposed to mean) You remember when she  got her first love letter how you almost killed her in beating and you were so mad at her. How you have been shying to give her the sex talk and you only gave her endless threats. Do you remember constantly reminding her ‘what will the women in my fellowship think if you dress like this…what will the neighbors say..what will the society think?'(i hope it rings some bells)

I am a campus student so trust me when i tell you i know what i am talking about. So i will tell you for free. Actually let me be sarcastic.

Thank you for not telling your daughters these things. Thank you for constantly reminding them it is always about what people will think and not about  the values one has. For always changing the channel every time you saw “PG” your screens.For forbidding her from having relationships with a boy and yet you don’t tell her what to do when she feels attracted to boys. Thank you once again actually CONGRATULATIONS!!! for being that parent who never passed through adolescent stage and skipped from childhood to adulthood and the first man you ever saw was your husband.(note the sarcasm). Thank you for threatening your daughter and telling her “NEVER bring pregnancy here”(directly translated)

campus is not showing your daughter teeth(directly translated) The sex talk you didn’t give to your daughter, the things you never told her. But don’t you worry i have ‘good news’ for you. Campus is already teaching them all that.It is in 3D now. Why are you scared sit back and relax because her roomie is already giving her the talks.  You told her not to get pregnant??? Relax campus is teaching her how to not get pregnant AND ‘PLAY SAFE’. Dearest parents there are no neighbors here. She didn’t carry the society in her suitcase. oh and your women fellowship group? Newsflash it was left in the rural. Welcome to campus parents the land of total freedom. You insisted on long clothes and baggy skirts?? and you didn’t tell her why. Don’t you worry she will wear that during the holidays but that is not how it operates here.

You told her MEN ARE DOGS?? How i wish you could have taken your time to think that DOGS ARE LOYAL you were right they are loyal and are teaching your daughters what you didn’t. i know you never thought of that before. So if they are dogs as you claim why are you still married to them?(preaching water and drinking wine).

To the fathers who are so ‘busy’ chasing money that you rarely have time for your daughters. Feel happy…pop some champagne and make a toss because other men of your age already took your place. You can’t give your daughter the attention of a father? Don’t stress much another man thrice your daughters age is already paying her for her attention. You say you are busy? That is not an excuse this grandpa has a family he’s taking care of but still finds time for your daughter. You can’t find 30mins to talk to your daughter? Someone else has volunteered on your behalf and is spending the whole weekend with your daughter.

Then you claim that this is a rotten generation. While instead of taking your responsibility as a parent and teaching them and telling them that it is not about pregnancy. It is about one’s dignity and self respect. (is it so hard to call a spade a spade and not a big spoon)

We have outgrown the threats now. Take it like you are watching a movie. The remote control is in your hands. It is entirely up to you to decide whether you want to stop the movie and talk to your daughter or you want to get to the end and keep watching endlessly as your daughter is being molded by campus.

EVERY GIRLCHILD can be a victim or is already a victim.

 

so please pause the Women Empowerment campaigns and first EMPOWER your daughter.

 

yours faithfully;

campus student

 

 

DEAR DTA FAMILY

Why am i even writing you a letter. Trust me i don’t even know what i am writing. I am not a writer myself but what damage will it do for trying.

DEAR DTA FAMILY…

I am grateful to be part of you though it may not be permanent (i will tell you why)

i just joined campus and i am at that stage where i am trying to find myself. I don’t know my talents but i auditioned for Daystar Theatre Arts anyways. I really want to find my talent. If i get it here i will surely stay if i don’t then sadly i will have to move on and keep searching. Wait does that mean if i don’t get my talent here i will have to leave such amazing people behind? (sob sob). Too much information already so let me get to the point.

DEAR DTA FAMILY

THANK YOU for making me part of you. Thank you for being part of my journey. I may not be able to mention each one of you by names but DTA can’t be called DTA without you. I sincerely don’t take it for granted. All of you are amazing. (i know you’re about to say how does this freshman even know me)Thank you for sparing your time to audition me. Not every day you get a person to listen to your story especially when you don’t even know what you’re looking for. (i sincerely don’t take it for granted)

“Something that has always puzzled me all my life is why, when I am in special need of help, the good deed is usually done by somebody on whom I have no claim. I didn’t know you all but i owe you a lot.  You are already family (i am not requesting it is by force by fire). I never stop dreaming that one day we can be a real family  together, all of us, laughing and talking, loving and understanding not looking at the past but only at the future.
If i don’t find my talent or abilities here i will surely miss you a lot. I will never forget how you made me feel. I never knew a ministry could feel so warm in the cold Lukenya Hills. How you made me feel welcomed even without saying ‘welcome’
I am not trying to sugar coat this my mouth is not a bakery after all.
I know you have your dark sides. I have them too. I will not judge you because this is not a LAW SCHOOL. i just love you all. i am looking forward to working with you for whatever time i will be with you.
I APPRECIATE YOU ALL.
Goodnight fam
#compsLabBeingClosed

 

IT WAS NOT OUT OF DESPERATION I WAS INNOCENTLY TRYING TO BEAT THE DEADLINE

.To whom it may concern,

Dear anonymous,

I am soon going to turn 20, not any other age but 20,

meaning i am leaving my teenage life permanently behind me,

i will officially be an adult and so must i live like one,

i will tell you how i want my 20’s to be,

for sure there will be a difference between my teenage and adult life,

 

i am going to be selfish with my time,

not because i am proud but because i am going to set my priorities right,

i won’t text you more like i used to,

i won’t be patient with you like i used to be,

there won’t be butterflies because of you,

all this is because i will have grown up,

 

so yes i told you and i don’t regret it,

eventually it had to come out and it sure did,

did i mention i sleep like a baby these days?

no more burden, no more,

i know i should have waited a little longer but then,

i am almost turning 20 and i had to set everything straight,

I can’t move to twenty and start asking ‘what if i had said it’

‘what if i did this’ 20 can’t be my what-if years

 

 

at twenty I’ll be lying sleepless in bed thinking of

how my future will be and what i am doing to get there,

at twenty i can’t afford to think about crushes anymore,

at twenty i can’t keep on checking my whatsap with the

hope that you are probably going to text me,

at twenty you can blue tick me all you want and

trust me i won’t bother,

i will have grown up now.

 

i won’t try making things work, i am done with that,

i will be done with the teenage fantasy and getting

excited for no reason

i will be done with making the extra effort all the time.

if we can’t meet halfway I’ll understand

i won’t mind though

my twenties will be my eliminating years.

i will surely eliminate anything that doesn’t matter anymore.

from friendships to chats to people to contacts

 

i hope you now understand i was trying to beat my 20’s deadline,

even if things don’t turn out the way i think they should,

it won’t change the fact that you are an amazing being,

it won’t change at all,

I’ll still store you in my long-term memory,

you’ll be safe there.

I hope you understand;

it was not out of desperation i couldn’t face you after i turn 20.

 

the only thing that won’t change IS I WILL NOT STOP HAVING HOMESICK.