She wasn’t sad anymore. She was numb but she new somehow numb was worse. She keeps hoping that one morning she is going to wake up and this deep hurting will have disappeared but it never goes. It stays there right beside her holding tight like a fluke in the liver. “I’m happy for you “is the greatest and hardest lie she’s had to tell. He thinks she’s mad but she’s hurt and that is the whole difference.
She acted like it was no big deal but deep inside..deep inside it literally broke her. But you know the strangest thing about this pain, is if given a chance to treat him the way he does to her, she can’t. It is not the revenge type of pain it is the bittersweet type of pain. She’s hurt mentally and emotionally. But she has chosen not to GO through pain but rather GROW through pain. He’s defensive and keeps on insisting he didn’t hurt her but what he doesn’t understand is when a person tells you that you hurt them you don’t get to decide if you didn’t.
To everyone else he’s that beast and everyone says he’s not worth fighting for but she hangs on because she knows deep inside this beast there is a beauty. He just has no idea how worthless he makes her feel. Every single day she prays to God to give her the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage to accept that she has been waiting for nothing all along.
But she knows whether you loved and won or loved and lost it was always worth it. And she’s chosen to get out of this whole situation BETTER and not BITTER. She’s going to smile like nothing happened because she’s “fine”
I wish i could hurt you the way you hurt me but i know if given a chance to do the same i wouldn’t -Arthur