.To whom it may concern,
I am soon going to turn 20, not any other age but 20,
meaning i am leaving my teenage life permanently behind me,
i will officially be an adult and so must i live like one,
i will tell you how i want my 20’s to be,
for sure there will be a difference between my teenage and adult life,
i am going to be selfish with my time,
not because i am proud but because i am going to set my priorities right,
i won’t text you more like i used to,
i won’t be patient with you like i used to be,
there won’t be butterflies because of you,
all this is because i will have grown up,
so yes i told you and i don’t regret it,
eventually it had to come out and it sure did,
did i mention i sleep like a baby these days?
no more burden, no more,
i know i should have waited a little longer but then,
i am almost turning 20 and i had to set everything straight,
I can’t move to twenty and start asking ‘what if i had said it’
‘what if i did this’ 20 can’t be my what-if years
at twenty I’ll be lying sleepless in bed thinking of
how my future will be and what i am doing to get there,
at twenty i can’t afford to think about crushes anymore,
at twenty i can’t keep on checking my whatsap with the
hope that you are probably going to text me,
at twenty you can blue tick me all you want and
trust me i won’t bother,
i will have grown up now.
i won’t try making things work, i am done with that,
i will be done with the teenage fantasy and getting
excited for no reason
i will be done with making the extra effort all the time.
if we can’t meet halfway I’ll understand
i won’t mind though
my twenties will be my eliminating years.
i will surely eliminate anything that doesn’t matter anymore.
from friendships to chats to people to contacts
i hope you now understand i was trying to beat my 20’s deadline,
even if things don’t turn out the way i think they should,
it won’t change the fact that you are an amazing being,
it won’t change at all,
I’ll still store you in my long-term memory,
you’ll be safe there.
I hope you understand;
it was not out of desperation i couldn’t face you after i turn 20.
the only thing that won’t change IS I WILL NOT STOP HAVING HOMESICK.